Wrote this on graduation month; March 16 to be exact. I think this would be a closure for what happened on my last semester in college. It has been a roller coaster ride and at first, you try to enjoy it even if you have motion sickness (In reality, I don't enjoy amusement parks that much. I have motion sickness). But at the end, you will feel dizzy and tell yourself, "Sometimes, you don't need to ride. Most of the time, you prefer seeing others enjoy the ride and find satisfaction just by looking."
I think whatever you'll read below will explain further what I'm trying to say. Here you go...
It's been awhile since I last
posted something. A lot of things happened to me on the last month of 2011 and
continued till February this year, 2012. But now, I can say I feel much better.
I am the happiest. :)
When something happens in your
life, do you run away from it? Or do you face it with all courage? As for me, I
ran away. I thought that was the best thing to do but at the end of the day,
the problem's still there and tomorrow won't be just another day; it won't
change a thing.
I tried to face my fears, my
problems, everything. I thought I was doing well in adjusting and that I was
coping. Was. I realized that I need to be real. I needed to be myself and from
there, everything will fall to place. And so I did.
I didn't care if they ask what
happened. I just know I'm doing something for myself; something that I haven't
done in awhile. I did what I wanted to do, though there would still be
awkwardness at first, I didn't mind. It's part of the process; the process of
moving on and eventually, becoming mature.
I prayed a lot during the times
that I felt helpless and lonely. God never left my side. I did. I left Him and
never really acknowledge him for awhile. I would speak of Him but not of faith
but because I needed to cheer up or support someone. I was doing a lot of
"for someone" rather than doing it "for myself." At the end
of that bitter past, God changed me gradually into a better person. I just
needed to be angry and bitter for awhile. I just needed to be real of what
exactly I feel that time. I was pretending. Was.
Now, I can say I don't have
bitter feelings anymore and the anger is gone. I guess people just need time to
reflect about themselves, seek God, and everything will be okay. I made
mistakes that brought me here where I am now but those mistakes made me a better
person. I learned a lot of my experiences. I am still learning and I won't stop
here. It's a process, lifelong...
I just have something to share to
everyone, "People don't always grow together. Sometimes, or most of the
time, they grow apart." We just need to value the people that we love and
who loves us as much as we can, with the time that is given to us. Life is
short. We just have to make the most out of it.
I lost a lot of good and sincere
people in my life and yes, I paid the price of not appreciating and respecting
them. But I realized, I needed to experience that for me to learn, to see the
bigger picture, and to know who I really am.
My professor in Sociology told us
on our last meeting, "YOU SHOULD KNOW YOURSELF" and I believe she's
right. Enough has been said. I already closed that chapter of my life. I am now
enjoying this new journey that I'm in. Let's build new memories, either good or
bad ones. This is the purpose of my blog. Good or bad memories count because they serve as life's lessons that will guide us to our journey through life. :)
Sorry for the vanity. Just want to share this picture with you. ^___^
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