Memory 6: 5th of July 2010 (Roller Coaster)

I wrote this on the 17th of July 2010, 12 days after he entered the army. I was really sad to know that he'll be away for two years. I was worried about his family that time. He went through a lot of controversies and maybe enlisting in the army will be the solution for him to learn his lessons. I believe he learned a lot now. 

Before anything else, I am a huge KPOP fan especially Super Junior since the release of Don't Don (2008). But I'm exposed to Korean culture since Stairway to Heaven and Endless Love, two of the best Korean drama series was dubbed and aired here in the Philippines. When I started to be more curious about Korea and being the music lover that I am, I got interested with KPOP. So to cut the long story short, I noticed Kim Youngwoon, famously known as Kangin of Super Junior and the rest is history.

TODAY MARKED THE END OF HIS TWO-YEAR MILITARY SERVICE. KANGIN'S BACK!! WELCOME BACK MY LOVEY!! :)

WARNING: This was a product of my intense admiration for him. Hihi. I really felt sad when he decided to enter the army. Yes, I'm one of the ELF who really cried when he finally entered on July 5.

I want to give up. I want to give up on you. All of these are just my imaginations. If there’s a slight chance for it to be real, I am risking my life.

I want you. I love you. But love is not enough for it to work. I am alone. One-sided love, that is.

Could you make time for me when we meet? Could you look at me when I professed my love? Would you accept me? Reject me? Would you give me the chance to be with you? Would you?

I want to give up my feelings but you are attached to my heart too tight. I divert my focus to other things, but at the end of the day, I still go back to you. You are like a drug. Damn it. I am addicted to you.

No one owns you; neither I. For sure, when I step on the land of your country, I am just nobody. I cannot compete with them. They know you too much and I don’t. I just love you. Would that make me stand out among the rest? I love you. I love you. Isn’t it enough?

A lot of things came up. I don’t know what to believe until they released an official statement. So it’s true? I felt numb for awhile. I didn’t want to believe them. Could I just hear it from you?

You came out with your head bowing down so low. I cried, my love. Just smile for me. I understand how you feel.

A wave of pain struck my heart. My love, please give me the chance to comfort you. Don’t cry. Please smile again.

I drowned myself with liquor. The tears I cannot suppress anymore. It’s just too hard to bear. Sorry. I am too weak.

My friends embraced me saying that it will be alright. I am positive you’ll be alright. You’re strong, aren’t you? But me, who sees beyond your smiles, feels that you are not really okay. If I could take away your pain and make it mine, I will do it for you my love.

It’s been nine months. Still, the feeling lingers, but I won’t get tired of waiting for you.

When I see you again, please wear that smile I love. I will feel better when I see that. I will be happy. All I want is for you to be okay and I will be fine.

It’s a roller coaster for me. To love someone like you, it’s not new to me. I am an expert in one-sided love. But for you, it’s different. I have given a lot and I know it’s not good. You’re my only vice; the vice I won’t give up now.

HE IS MY SUNSHINE. He inspired me to write this.

You came back, as promised. I held onto his words and he's back!!

KANGIN HWAITING~ SUPER JUNIOR HWAITING~ ELFs HWAITING~!!